Who is driving this thing? A Reflection on Locus of Control

When I was in school, I remember learning about "Locus of Control." As with many things I learned in school, it was presented in a simplistic, binary way.

Either you had an internal locus of control - which meant you believed that you were captain of your ship and had the ability to steer and shape your life - or you had an external locus of control - which meant you felt you were a victim of your circumstances and just along for whatever ride life had planned for you.

And yes, it was presented with that obvious slant.

Those were the only two options and they were clearly framed as a "right" and "wrong" perspective.

These days, Post-Dialectic-Thinking-Me sees it a little differently.

See, reality is messy and if we are being truly honest with ourselves, it's a little bit of "both... and" and a little bit of "and... also."

Are there aspects of life over which we have full control? Sure. Are there aspects over which we have no control? Also sure. Then there's also this sticky little area in the middle where control might not be present, but influence is.

I like to conceptualize it as a road trip.

An empty road through a rural area with green fields.

What are you in control of? The car you take. The route and stops you plan. The speed at which you drive (mostly). The snacks you pack. The playlist you create.

You get the idea.

What are you not in control of? The weather. The conditions of the road. The actions of your fellow drivers.

And what can you influence but not control? The performance of your vehicle, for example. You can maintain it exactly according to the manual, and yet... it might still break down. It might have a defective part, or you could end up with a flat tire. Are those things more likely if you DON'T take the steps you can? Sure. Are you assured of a positive outcome if you do all the right things? Nope.

So what do we do with that?

For me, it means I work to identify agency wherever I can. I do my best to exert influence positively. And I also practice rolling with the punches. Not in a cliche "I can control how I respond" way (although I can) but in a "I accept that the universe is larger than me, and that I am limited, and that's ok" way.

What you do with it is up to you.