Who am I? Exploring Identity and Self-Concept

A stuffed beige fabric question mark suspended in front of a lighter beige background.

A simple question, but I'm not going to give a simple answer - yet.

Identity is a funny thing. In Grad school, we learned about the different dimensions of identity: sex, gender, race, religion, socioeconomic status, sexual orientation - just to name a few.

Our identities impact the way we experience the world. Some of these identities are static and outside of our control.

Some are assigned to us by the society into which we are born.

Some of our identities are ones we give to ourselves. And these I'd recommend we choose carefully.

Let's revisit the concept of shame (If you haven't already seen it, I recommend taking just a moment to watch Brené Brown's explanation of guilt versus shame. Trust me - it's worth your time).

Shame says: "I am."

I am lazy.

I am a failure.

I am worthless.

I am a klutz.

I am a ditz.

It can work the other way, too.

I am not an adventurous person.

I am not 'the brainy-type'.

I am not creative.

Even identities that aren't driven by shame affect our behavior.

I am a kind person.

I am a generous person.

I am thoughtful.

The identities we assign ourselves influence what we do, or don't do, what we believe about ourselves, the way we interact with the world, and with others. They are how we define ourselves, and those labels can be limiting or liberating.

So, Who Am I?

I am a curious person who values growth and personal development.

I am a friend, a mother, a wife, and a daughter.

I am a therapist and a writer.

I am a person who values education, empathy, compassion, kindness, and understanding.

I am a person who believes that effort matters.

I am a person with ADHD and an animal lover.

I am all of that and many other things that you'll come to learn along the way.

But now I'm wondering:

Who are you? How are you defining yourself?

And are those definitions serving you... or is it time to rethink them?